I had my first ever parent-teacher conferences today. Apparently, today was easy, the tough ones are tomorrow. I have to admit that I was surprised at how many parents did want to come. I tackled 10 today and I think more tomorrow. You get so tired! They only last about 10-15 minutes but all that talking about such important things, compared to the gibber-jabber I do all the rest of the day, is exhausting. Thus far, most of the parents have been able to speak English well enough. I still get bored and a bit jealous when Doogie talks so much and I have no clue as to what they are discussing. I have been doing my best to maintain my professionalism, but that's not what the parents actually want. They want me to be real and honest. I began to loosen up a bit after the first few and we managed to have a few laughs too. I got to tell Tergelbold's grandmother how all the girls in the class want to marry him. I also got to give some insider information to some parents, which I made promise they did not divulge. If I'm not a safe haven in the port of life, as I've often heard classrooms and teachers refered to, then I'm not doing my job properly.

I have been having many discussions lately about me, and who I am. It would seem my self view is a bit skewed. What I perceive is not what others see. This is disheartening, and I'm feeling disillusioned. I have had people lash out in anger at me and have actually grown accustomed to it. I never manage to live up to whatever ideal others have set for me. Heck, I barely manage to meet my own. I'm beginning to wonder what really counts in life. Is it my own reflection I see back in the mirror and can live with or it is how others see me? I realize I have made probably more than my fair share of mistakes, but haven't we all? I guess I never realized how my growing pains had such an effect on others. I was so hell bent on learning and discovering for myself, I felt that was the only way! Perhaps I have tried so hard in my way to be free, that I have made aliens of those who would truly be mine. Then I think about all the friends I have made over the course of my life. Am I disillusional? Once again, I dunno. I have been described as passionate, spontanieous, and lively. But do any of these people really know me?